


Satellite 5

by neil4god



Series: Quinlan The Quatermaster [2]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies), Skyfall (2012) - Fandom, bondlock - Fandom
Genre: BAMF John, BAMF Q, Bar fights, Clueless Alec & James, Devious Bond & Alec, Glitter!, Hairspray is not napalm!, Hurt Q, M gets his ass kicked (metaphorically speaking), M/M, Moriarty is a chatty one, Mycroft -Does it like a Boss!, Pop Culture Refs, Protective Mycroft, Q tries to Resign, Scheming Double Os, T.J. is an idiot, Tags are being abused!, The Double Os Won't Let Him!, canon level violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-21
Updated: 2014-03-13
Packaged: 2017-12-27 04:31:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/974367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neil4god/pseuds/neil4god
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's a year since Quinn joined MI6 and his contract has ended. Overjoyed to be free from his brother's clutches Quinn is all too eager to go back to his old life. However Tanner has charged the Double O's with keeping Q in MI6 using any means necessary.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It was barely eight in the morning but Tanner had called in all Double O’s in the area for an emergency meeting. It was odd and frankly a little alarming. Spotting Alec hovering by the open doorway he waved him over and waited impatiently for him to take the seat beside him. The meeting was due to start any minute but he had to ask, “Any idea what’s going on?”  
The Russian shrugged and whispered, “Something to do with Q I think. Moneypenny spent all day Friday in Q Branch. No idea what for mind. Still it can’t be anything good.”  
No it couldn’t. Not with seven Double O’s in a room. Tanner was lucky they hadn’t killed each other already. Double O’s were not overly fond of one another. Bond’s friendship with Alec was considered strange by the others but Bond doesn’t know how he would have made it through Skyfall and Mawdsley’s death without him. Alec had finished his mission in Latvia early so he could attend the funeral with James. He kept him sane afterwards. 

Tanner popped his head into the room, did a rough count and passed a file to the intern behind him, before coming in and locking the door. The room was completely soundproof and had no outside computer access. Whatever files he was opening on his tablet and sending to the large screen on the wall were obviously confidential. “Thank you all for coming. I am afraid that something most unfortunate has happened. As all of you know Q has been head of the ISS or Q Branch since the Silva incident last year. What you may not know is that his one year contract has ended.”  
There were some mutterings around the table but Tanner ignored it and continued. “He has declined our offer of extending his contract, which means that next Monday T.J will be in charge of Q Branch and running all of your missions.”  
The outrage was immediate. 003 was shouting at Tanner in French while 001, a petite blonde woman in killer heels tried to calm down 0011 who was having a mild panic attack at the thought of T.J, the idiot who gave him hairspray last month instead of napalm, running his missions. James was shocked mostly. It didn’t make sense that the Q he knew should just up and leave. From the look on Alec’s face he was of the same opinion. 

Shouting over the noise Bond asked “Why was he only on a yearly contract? That’s not standard for Q Branch staff is it?”  
The others quieted down waiting for Tanner’s answer. “No it’s not standard. But Q started last year in the secretary pool. I only transferred him to ISS because he kept making people cry.”  
Alec interrupted him, his voice laced with scepticism, “You let a secretary take over Q Branch?”  
Tanner glared at him but Alec was well used to it and smirked back. “Yes well let might be the wrong term. He just sort of took over. Silva attacked the day Q was transferred. He had already begun security upgrades before the attack and merely continued them afterwards. Getting back to the point of this meeting, I think it is safe to assume that no-one here wants T.J left in charge.”  
He paused, letting the Double O’s express how stupid an idea that was before going on, “Exactly. He told us on Friday morning. Since then we have offered him more money, a personal assistant, a new office, a new department building and Moneypenny has been guilt tripping him from the second she found out. So far none of it has worked. M attempted to blackmail him since bribery clearly wasn’t working but that may have backfired a little.”  
From beside him Alec questioned, “Oh yeah? How’d he mess that one up then?” 

Tanner straightened his tie and looked down at his notes before staring back at Alec. “He threatened his brother’s position in government. Unfortunately M did not have access to all of the necessary files and was outmanoeuvred. His brother has cut our funding for the next six months and put both myself and M on probation.”  
There was a bark of laughter from 004 in the back and Tanner went red. James sat back in his chair letting that go over his head. Who could put M on probation? Bewildered he asked “Just who is his brother exactly? He’s not the PM or something is he?”  
Tanner smiled, a thin press of lips, “If only. That would have made the situation much easier to deal with. I have put Q’s file on the screen and there are physical copies for you all to take with you. I am telling you this because we need Q to stay. You need Q to stay so I am leaving it in your hands. You have seen the mistakes we made so I hope you can try something different. You have by the end of the day Friday to convince him and I am willing to turn a blind eye to anything short of torture. I would however advise that you not get too carried away. His brothers are terrifying and if it doesn’t work they will kill you Double O or not. We’ll reconvene Wednesday for an update, same time same room.”  
Tanner passed out the hardcopies of Q’s file and left them to consult with one another. 

When the door closed behind him there was a moment of perfect silence before everyone started speaking at once. James flipped open the file and started reading through it. Most of the Double O’s were arguing about whether water boarding counted as torture, the opposition declaring that is was irrelevant as a water-boarded Quatermaster would have them all killed on the first mission out. The argument went in circles and James tried to block it out. He scanned down through the file noting the large blacked out sections regarding his personal life and family members. He had two brothers listed, Mycroft and Sherlock Holmes. His father, Sieger Holmes was dead, and his mother’s name was missing. There was something about Sieger though that tugged at James’ memory. Turning to Alec he asked, “Sieger Holmes? How do I know that name?”  
Alec’s chair swivelled around to face him. He scrunched his face up and closed his eyes as he thought. Alec remembered everything, James had no idea how but it had come in handy on many occasions. After a moment he un-scrunched and snatched the file out of James’ hands. After flipping through the pages he gave it back and told him, “We met him at that party in Vienna forever ago. Someone introduced him as being the English government. Everyone laughed but I looked into it after and turns out they were right. He was married to Mawdsley.”  
How did he not know that? He had met M’s family before, her two oldest boys at least. One held a minor position in the government and the other was a junkie. How could he have missed that? Q looked just like Sherlock. They have the same dark hair, same build, same mood swings and phobia of being bored.


	2. Chapter 2

He let the others continue to argue and strategize while he thought about the problem. Q was a brilliant quartermaster. There wasn’t anyone else he trusted to do his job and certainly not T.J. He had no idea why that idiot was even being considered for the role. Even Tanner knew he was useless. James liked to have all of the information and it was always best to go to the source. If they wanted Q to stay then they needed to know why he wanted to leave. He tugged at his cuffs and regretted losing his latest Walther PPK to that tar pit in Venezuela. If Q left he may never get another one. Grabbing up the paper file he nodded at his colleagues and left them to their discussion. Alec fell in beside him matching his pace to James’. Quietly he told him, “We can’t let him leave Alec.”  
Alec just nodded and they quickly made their way down to Q Branch. 

There was chaos in the branch. Q had gone for a tea break and his minions were running around like headless chickens. They bickered and fought, ignoring the two Double O’s entirely. Some of them were depositing gifts on Q’s desk, Lightsaber cufflinks, an Adipose stress reliever (Alec made him watch it!), Sherlock figurines and a plethora of objects from shows and films James didn’t recognize. Alec seemed to though, he oohed and aahhed along with the minions, discussing casting and episodes in hushed tones. The rest of the minions were working away diligently, but when James glanced at their monitors he noticed the lack of real work being done. One was building Q a _Minecraft _Westeros while another was hacking into Benedict Cumberbatches’ personal computer to watch him getting dressed. James noted the little red dot indicating it was recording and came to the startling conclusion that Q was a Cumberbitch. One of the minions was even sitting on the floor constructing a robot Dalek that said “Don’t Terminate” in a rather good imitation of the ones on the show.__

It was all very odd and James wasn’t sure what to do with that so he decided to ignore it until it became a problem. When Q returned five minutes later the Dalek was on his desk with the rest of the presents and the Cumberbatch flashdrive. He moved everything into a basket (brimming with things to make Alec’s inner geek salivate) on the empty desk behind his and got back to his work. James settled onto the now empty part of the desk and felt Alec come up close behind him. Q refused to look up, keeping his eyes determinedly fixed on the screen, so James asked him “Why do you want to leave?”  
Brown eyes met his, a tentative smile filling his face as he replied, “You’re the first person to ask me that.”  
They kept quiet, waiting for Q to answer the question properly. “This was only ever supposed to be temporary. I’ve done what I set out to do, if I stay any longer then my brother will be right and I can’t have that. I want to go back to my real life.”  
It stung that Q would see this as something fleeting, this was their real life, it should be his as well. Alec’s fingers on his nape kept him quiet as the other agent asked Q, “What can we do to make you stay? What is it you want Q?”  
The young man scrubbed his fingers through his hair harshly, hissing at the sensation before he answered “I told you. I want my life back. I have a company to run, software to create. I can’t keep doing everything from here. My staff will start to think they’re working at Satellite 5. I appreciate you asking Alec but there isn’t anything that can make me stay. I’m sorry. For what it’s worth though, I will miss you two the most.”  
He waved them off his desk and out of his office. They left in silence, both contemplating what they had just learned. 

It was three hours later when they bumped into 0011 in the hallway. His eye was swollen closed, his mouth was bleeding and his cheekbones were cut. If James wasn’t mistaken he also had a dislocated shoulder and a fractured tibia. The other agent smiled sheepishly at them when Alec asked “What the fuck happened to you?”  
James gripped Nathan’s arm tightly while Alec held him still. On the count of three James forced Nathan’s shoulder back into place. He screamed loudly and panted heavily afterwards, but the fit was good. It would need a sling to keep it in place but he could get that later. Breathing normally again, 0011 told them “I went to see his brother Sherlock. Guy has a fucking bodyguard, John Watson. He has to be army or special-forces or something because he kicked my arse. When he was through Sherlock fucked up my shoulder and sent me back here. There was a car, just waiting for me, didn’t have to tell it where to go or anything. Fucking creepy it was. No wonder M’s on probation if that’s what the younger brother is like. The eldest must be a bloody nightmare.”  
James knew Watson, he had met him several years ago on a mission in Afghanistan. He decided not to tell Nathan he was an army doctor invalided home. Instead he asked, “Did you learn anything from the brother?”  
Alec shot him a sharp glance telling him he would want to know more later, before refocusing on Nathan. “Not much. He knows who we are, who his brother works for. He really wants him to quit and he doesn’t want us to stop him. Other than that the guy’s a total psycho. He told me my entire life story in under two minutes. It was disconcerting. He sent a message though. I’m not really sure who it was for but you might know, he said _Mummy’s favourites belong on their side, John says family should stick together _. That’s it, any idea what it means?”  
James nodded no and reminded Nathan to make a sling for his arm while Alec dragged him down the hallway. He was unceremoniously shoved into the nearest room. When Alec noticed it was occupied, he sent the accountants scurrying away in fear. __

Alec spoke quickly in Russian “What the ever loving fuck? He thinks we’re family now?”  
James closed the door behind the last sweating accountant before questioning in Russian “I wonder how long he’s known about us?”  
Alec paced the room, thoughts racing across his face too fast for James to read. Stopping in front of the small wooden desk, Alec asked “I wonder if that’s why we’re Q’s favourites?”  
He wasn’t sure if he was supposed to answer that or if Alec was just thinking out loud so he stayed quiet. It was a good question though. Q had been blatant in his favouritism. They got the best toys to play with, they were never passed off to another handler when they were on missions. Last week, Q passed 003 along to Diane so he could run both Alec and Bond’s missions himself, even though it meant thirty three hours of no sleep and snarking agents. 003 had to make do with Diane telling her _computer said no _when she asked for a little help getting the doors open. At the time it had just been another example of Q showing preferential treatment, as had the two hour shouting match (or so called debrief) he instigated when they stepped into his branch two days later. Maybe there was a reason he treated them like that. Alec was still muttering away so James tugged his arm, pulling him into an impromptu hug. He felt him relax in his arms, his face pressing in against James’ neck as he inhaled deeply. “It doesn’t matter Alec why we’re his favourites. All that matters is that we are and we have to use that to our advantage. We’re the only people in this entire building he cares about, there’s no way he’ll leave us to T.J when he won’t even let Diane run our ops.”__  
Alec gripped the back of his shirt tightly and told him “We have to make him stay James. I can’t go back to that shitty tech and awful quartermaster. He’s saved my life more than I can bloody count and I won’t let him leave.”  
Trying to lighten the mood Alec joked “Do you think it would make things better or worse if we tried to sleep with him?”  
James looked down sharply, meeting sparkling green eyes, “Worse probably but let’s keep it on reserve. I’ve always wanted to get my hands on that gorgeous arse and if we fail then that’s the least compensation we deserve.”  
He felt the laugh bubble up out of Alec, making his body shake with mirth as he responded “A compensation threesome, well once I get to bottom. I imagine he’s got a gorgeous cock.”  
Laughing, James ran his thumb across Alec’s collarbone and let the other man pull away putting distance between them. “Seriously though James there has to be something we can do.” 

“I told you we’re his favourites. There must be something needing done in the U.K. we’ll volunteer and not let him run it. Do the whole mission with T.J. That’ll have an impact.”  
Alec’s response was vehement and bitter “Yeah, if it doesn’t get us killed!”  
It was a possibility, but they were Double O’s, being killed was always a possibility. The last 0012 was killed popping out to the shops, a gunshot to the head from a not dead, really alive enemy. Death walked with them always. He told Alec as much and ushered him out of the room. He was curious to see what the other Double O’s had come up with. They’d have several hours to plan and should be putting things into motion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> References:
> 
> Lightsaber - Star Wars  
> Adipose - Doctor Who (they're super cute!)  
> Sherlock BBC - Benedict Cumberbatch  
> Minecraft - its a building things game, youtube it, some of the stuff people make is awesome!  
> Westeros - Game of Thrones (George R.R. Martin, Songs of Ice & Fire)  
> Dalek - Doctor Who - Exterminate!  
> Satellite 5 - Doctor Who - a space station that produced game shows and then the news, turns out it was being controlled by Daleks and evil aliens.  
> Computer said no - Little Britain
> 
>  
> 
> I know that John versus a Double O would probably end up in dead John, but I'm hoping you can suspend disbelief for this one.


	3. Chapter 3

They arranged it with Tanner that they would take a mission in London to retrieve a stolen flashdrive with sensitive information on it. It wasn’t something they would usually do, that was after all what junior agents were for but Tanner accepted it, blindly trusting them to have a good reason to act so out of character. As they made there way back to Q Branch they passed a red headed intern guarding an office door. Curious, they bustled past the girl and let themselves into the office. 005 was kneeling on the floor, his face streaked with pink marker and gold glitter. The two agents pulled up short at the sight. Behind Dylan was a large white sheet of paper that was crudely decorated with the words _“Don’t Leave!” _It looked like something a child would do and Alec told him as much. Dylan tried to retain some dignity by wiping at the marker on his face, but all he managed to do was spread the pink and glitter. Huffing he told them, “Tanner said water boarding does count as torture and so did everything else I came up with, so this is the only non-violent thing I could think of.”  
The two agents shared a dubious look, James arching a brow at Alec that had the other man laughing. Taking pity on Dylan James suggested, “Why don’t you just fill out your after action report and give him back your field kit? He likes that.” __

Dylan picked at some of the glitter on the floor, refusing to meet James’ stare. “I can’t. Everything’s at the bottom of the Danube. The banner is to soften him up a bit. Not that he’s ever soft. You’re the only ones he’s ever nice to. He bullies the rest of us, he makes me feel five years old sometimes.”  
He sounded so dejected that James put a hand on his shoulder in a gesture of support while Alec, the bastard, laughed so hard he couldn’t breathe. When he was finally finished he pointed at the half finished banner and told Dylan “A five year old would do a better job! At least they’d use glue you moron. There’s nothing for the glitter to stick to!”  
Dylan stared at his banner and cautiously lifted it up. The glitter fell off the page, streaming onto the ground like a golden waterfall. Alec laughed harder while Dylan’s face turned red and he raced out of the room to attack the intern who had gotten him the supplies. 

They passed by the red haired intern crying great big heaving sobs in the hallway while 005 lashed into her. He felt bad for the poor girl. It wasn’t her fault Dylan hadn’t asked her to buy glue, although common sense should have prompted her to pick some up. That was the problem with interns, they were never as good in real life as they were on paper. They kept going down and down, carefully avoiding 001 trapped in the hallway across from the canteen. It looked like Q had revoked her clearance so she was stuck until someone opened the doors. Not wanting to piss Q off they waved at Sally and took the long way around. They heard the music long before they pushed open the doors to Q Branch. Alec was humming along to _Pink’s Please Don’t Leave Me _by the time they made it to Q’s desk. The minions had tapped into the sound system and were evidently serenading their master with cheesy love songs and anything containing the words _“Don’t Leave” _.In James’ opinion he thought it was more likely to encourage Q to leave than to keep him there. He’d only been there two minutes and he already wanted to run away. He stood his ground though, waiting for T.J to find their equipment. Q flinched when he entered the room, but he smiled once he saw the two agents. It was odd how such a small smile could make his heart flip. Q made his way over to them, sipping his tea and carefully maneuvering around wires and cables.____

Q set his mug on his desk and watched curiously as T.J handed Alec and James their respective weapons. A tiny little frown appeared between his eyes. He glanced quickly between Alec, James and T.J before demanding an explanation. “What is going on here?”  
T.J tried to mumble out something but he was barely coherent, so Alec answered instead, “We thought we’d get a start on this you leaving thing. I mean if you’re not going to be here next week then we may as well get used to it.”  
Alec smiled smugly at the downturn to Q’s mouth and the way he asked incredulously “You want T.J to run your mission?”  
T.J handed Bond a mobile phone and another one to Alec without once looking at Q. His face was red though, he was clearly uncomfortable with this situation. James smiled sharply at Q, “Better a small mission now here in London to start us off than somewhere he could really do damage.”  
It wasn’t fair to T.J, he wasn’t that bad. He could be quite good actually when he was following directions. He made a great sergeant or lieutenant, but he didn’t have it in him to be Quatermaster and he would be the first to admit it. Alec patted the boy on the shoulder and squeezed a little too much if the wince was anything to go by. He told Q though, “He has to get used to being in charge so no interfering Q. T.J’s our Quatermaster now not you.”  
Q visibly whitened, his face bleaching of all colour, his eyes though stayed glued to Alec’s possessive hand on T.J’s shoulder. Snapping himself out of it, Q spoke quietly, his voice soft and almost hurt, “Right well be careful and try to bring back all of the equipment in one piece this time.”  
Alec sang along loudly and off key to the music as they left, _“I touch you once, I touch you twice, I won’t let go at any price. I need you now like I needed you then”_

They returned two days later with three bullet holes between them (Alec:2, James:1), a fractured collarbone (James), dislocated pinkie (Alec), five broken toes (James) and too many cuts and bruises to count. All in all it had been an absolute disaster. T.J had sent them into a building rigged to explode and surrounded by snipers with no way out. The guy behind it all, a chatty Irish chap named Moriarty was seriously pissed off that they had interrupted his plans and took it out on them in a physical way. The only reason they managed to escape at all was because the bloke never shut up. He spent so long talking that Alec was able to cut through his bonds with a nail (hence the dislocated pinkie) rescue himself and James so they could escape with the flashdrive. T.J had been next to useless, of course it probably hadn’t helped that any time he tried to ask Q for help the two agents threatened to dismember him. 

They hobbled their way down to Q Branch before Medical, Q should see first hand the consequences he was inflicting on everyone by leaving. There were streamers and banners all over the room, pink and gold glitter stuck to the monitors and was splashed across keyboards, sticking in the keys. Alec groaned softly, his ribs too hurt for him to laugh properly. Dylan had gone through with it then. James wondered what his punishment was and why Q hadn’t taken them all down yet. That was quickly answered when he saw a minion, Matt maybe, teetering on a stool muttering something about permanent sticking charms, as he tried to unstuck the banners from the walls. He was covered in glitter and sweat and looked ready to kill someone. The entire branch seemed tense, the minions kept quiet and tried not to draw attention to themselves. James smirked when Alec pointed out that T.J was missing. James hobbled over to the empty seat in front of Q’s desk. He waved at a minion to fetch another chair for Alec as he collapsed into his. Q stayed at the monitors in the centre of the room, walking 004 through an extraction in Mombasa. Listening to his voice was soothing so James let his head tilt to the side, leaning slightly on Alec’s shoulder. The other man shuffled his chair closer and let out a heavy sigh. They stayed like that, leaning against each other just listening to Q being Q. It had been hard going on mission without Q in their ear. They trusted him to keep them safe. Without that they were both vulnerable. James was starting to reconsider Dylan’s water boarding idea. 

When 004 was safely on a helicopter and headed for home with the harddrive Q wanted, he made himself tea and coffee for Alec and James, two sugars for James and black with caramel for Alec. Q Branch had the best coffee machine in the entire building. It was one of the first things Q did when he took over, well after Silva and Skyfall. James sipped carefully, blowing on the coffee to cool it first. He felt Q’s eyes on him, taking in every inch of him, cataloguing broken skin and damaged flesh before he gave Alec the same treatment. There was a sense of menace to him, an edge that wasn’t usually present. He tried to hide it away but James had seen it, he scowled when he asked “Did you bring back anything?” The two men nodded their heads guiltily, they had meant to, had tried desperately but Moriarty had taken one look at their tech and confiscated it. Q steepled his fingers under his chin and glared at them both. “There is a reason you weren’t assigned to this mission. I’ve already had reports of how badly it went. Moriarty has already launched a counter assault. My brother is beyond pissed at you by the way. It’s rude to play with someone else’s toys.”  
James started at that, “Wait, toys?”  
Q pushed his glasses further up his nose and ruffled his hair before answering “Yes Sherlock and Moriarty are playing a game. You shouldn’t have gotten in the middle of it. It’s much too dangerous.” Alec was getting pissed, his eyes narrowing at Q “We’re Double O’s Q!”  
Q smiled at them like he was indulging them and James felt the same anger rising in him. “Yes but you’re not as smart as they are. Don’t take that the wrong way, no-one’s as smart as they are. Off to medical the both of you. I don’t need blood on my seats.”  
They hobbled out of their seats, passing Matt still struggling with the banners as they left. It didn’t feel like a victory. 

Obeying his command, they went straight to Medical nearly collapsing onto the beds. 003 was in the bed next to them sleeping heavily. Curious James asked the nurse what happened. She laughed, her brown curls bouncing as she told them, “He broke into Q’s flat to leave him presents or some such. Q brought him in with him this morning. He was covered in cat pee and has electric burns all over his hands. He’s been unconscious for hours. Honestly, what idiot breaks into Q’s flat? He designs weapons for a living. Of course his flat’s protected.”   
She went to work on Alec’s bullet wounds, cleaning the area and checking their stitches. The entire building was trying to keep Q here and they were failing. He let the doctor set his toes and bandage him up while Alec hissed and cursed at the nurse cleaning the gunshot to his leg. This hadn’t worked, they would have to come up with something else. “Maybe we should go see his brother? Apologize for playing with his toys.”  
Alec looked over sharply, letting out an expletive as the nurse washed out one of the deeper stab wounds to his chest. He shooed the nurse away to quietly tell James, “Maybe we can find out why he thinks we’re family.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fusion sorta: so the two agents ended up with Moriarty at the swimming pool instead of Sherlock - clearly that upset Moriarty's plans.
> 
>  
> 
> If You Leave - OMD song, great cover by Nada Surf  
> check it out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ArpeU0PSa40
> 
> permanent sticking charm - Harry Potter - Sirius uses it to put up posters in his room as a kid in Grimwauld Place.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the massive gap between posts, I've just started a new job and things are a little crazy right now, but hopefully things will start to settle down and we can continue our scheduled programming :)

The flat was empty when they arrived so they settled in to wait. James put on the kettle while Alec rifled through the presses looking for alcohol. He didn’t find anything more than a few bottles of beer and an empty bottle of cooking sherry. “I thought you said he was a junkie James? Junkies don’t have nice flats.”  
Last time he saw Sherlock he was strung out and on the verge of collapse, but maybe he wasn’t like that anymore, so James just shrugged his shoulders and pulled open the fridge door. Alec crept up behind him peering in over his shoulder to see what had made James tense up. There was a hand with bubblegum pink polish sitting on the second shelf right next to the cheese. It was disconcerting and in perfect sync they both decided to forgo the milk in their tea. They were not touching anything that came out of that fridge! 

Armed with black tea they took up positions on the couch facing the door. They didn’t have to wait long. They were barely an hour when Sherlock arrived home. They heard him first, the jingle of his keys, the steady footsteps up the stairs and the heavier ones of John behind him. He didn’t seem alarmed to see them or in any way surprised really. It was John who looked gobsmacked, his mouth open and his eyes dancing between James and Sherlock. Sherlock of course noticed and huffed loudly, muttering something that sounded like “not another one!” Once he overcame his surprise and lost the flabbergasted look he pulled James into a hug that was a little too tight (last John had heard James died in Turkey) but James hugged him back and made the necessary introductions. In moments they were all sitting comfortably, John with milky tea that Alec eyed dubiously and Sherlock with a violin. James just hoped he didn’t start playing. He had heard that once, Sherlock playing the violin at four in the morning, high as a kite and making a noise like cats being skinned alive. That noise haunted his dreams for weeks afterwards and still did on occasion. He plucked the occasional string but didn’t attempt to play and James was honestly relieved. Once the pleasantries were out of the way ( _“bloody hell you asshole you’re alive!” – “yeah sorry” – “should have known you’d never go like that” – “not that what we had was well” – “I mean you know we were never but” – “Oh John do shut up, he’s not dead, he’s clearly in a relationship with Alec and he doesn’t care that he hurt you now let’s move this along so I can get back to my experiments. I’ve got a hand in the fridge that’s decomposing beautifully.” – “I told you no more body parts in the fridge, I swear to god Sherlock!” _) Alec ignored everything he had painstakingly learned over a lifetime of spying on and manipulating people to bluntly ask “How can we make your brother stay?”__  
James felt like hiding his head in his hands, instead he straightened his back and tried to seem intimidating. He wasn’t very successful. He had enjoyed a very playful and mostly fun relationship with John and Sherlock was still as haughty and articulate as ever and was even more terrifying now that he was clean. It made intimidating them very difficult. Especially since he was feeling intimidated himself by the icy glares Sherlock was sending his way. Not that he would ever admit that to anyone. With a sneer Sherlock replied, “Why ever would he want to stay? That place has nothing to offer him, in fact it is directly responsible for denying him what he wants. There isn’t anything you can do to make him change his mind. I would recommend stopping all attempts at emotional manipulation immediately. It won’t work and all it’s done so far is irritate him. He was livid yesterday, rightly too of course. Moriarty had this whole game set up for us to play and you two idiots ruined it.”  
John’s hand settled over Sherlock’s left, rubbing tiny soothing circles into the flesh there, at odds with his admonishing tone, “It’s not a game Sherlock. Moriarty is dangerous.”  
James saw a flicker of guilt cross Sherlock’s face before it was irradicated. 

How had he not known they were related? They had the same build, the same thick dark hair and high cheekbones. Sure there were differences, but sitting across from Sherlock, the similarities were plain. It was there in the way he held himself, the ice cold tone and the arrogance. James had always thought that type of arrogance was inherited, it came from old money in old families, he was beginning to realise though that no other family was quite as arrogant as the Holmses. He had once spent an entire week watching over Sherlock and Mycroft, protecting them for M. It had been the most excruciating week of his life. There had been no real reason for it, he had never been told what the threat was, no matter how many times he asked. By the end of the week he had come to the conclusion that they were arrogant, over privileged, arseholes. Unfortunately it was also apparent that they were exceedingly intelligent and frightfully insightful. More than once Q had reminded him of them, with his sharp gaze and cutting words. His intellect was on par with Sherlock’s but Q didn’t intimidate him the way Sherlock did. Sherlock was a high functioning sociopath if ever he met one and he had wondered at the time whether one day soon he would be sent to hunt down Sherlock. The offhand way Sherlock referred to their ordeal with Moriarty cemented that thought in his mind. Sherlock was on their side, for now. Alec cut through his thoughts nearly shouting “I don’t care about your stupid game with that prick. I want to know about Q. How can we make him stay?”  
Sherlock sneered again, his fingers plucking discordant strings. “He was hoping you would be on his side for once. After all he has spent this entire year being on yours. It seemed fair to assume you would reciprocate. Obviously he was mistaken, but then he was mistaken to stay there in the first place. His judgement may have been impaired by the explosion making him act rashly. I can assure you that he has regretted it ever since.”  
John was making faces James couldn’t interpret but Sherlock seemed to understand. 

When Alec shifted closer to them James smelled his aftershave and the lingering hint of his last cigarette. In an instant Sherlock was out of his chair and leaning into Alec’s personal space. Alec flailed, his arms automatically reaching out in defence then halting when no attack came. Instead Sherlock bent nearly double over Alec, breathing in deeply against his skin. John slumped down into his armchair, making himself as small as possible mumbling “please Sherlock” It wasn’t very effective, Alec’s shove however was. Sherlock stumbled backwards arms spinning for balance into his chair. He continued speaking like he had never stopped to go sniff Alec inappropriately, saying “He was mistakenly counting on your devotion to mummy.”  
This wasn’t getting them anywhere and Alec looked ready to kill someone (hopefully just Sherlock). Things were spinning in his brain and that was never good, nothing good ever came from Alec plotting. His schemes tended to devolve into shoot outs or overly large fires. He was quite the arsonist when he was allowed. Q was very strict with him on that though, he was only allowed have fire related weapons every fourth mission. In an odd way it had helped to calm him down somewhat. He was more even tempered in between missions than he ever had been before and that was directly related to Q. Everything in their fucking lives was related to Q and sitting here listening to his brother bemoan their lack of loyalty was bullshit. They were loyal to their country and their quartermaster. 

They weren’t supposed to see him as anything else because he wasn’t supposed to be anything else. The quatermaster’s of MI6 were a heavily guarded secret, they had armed escorts everywhere and absolutely no personal life. They were supposed to drop out of the world and into MI6. No contact with family or friends. No relationships not officially sanctioned (and thoroughly investigated) by MI6. He hadn’t really thought about it before, not like this. He had considered losing Q as their quartermaster and how that would affect their lives in work. He had never considered how the role of quartermaster would affect Q himself. Q, although a deep dark secret that barely anyone knew about, had the most freedom of any quartermaster to come before him. He was allowed to have his own apartment and he still ran his company (although mostly in between James and Alec’s missions) he still had family he could talk to. He didn’t have much of a life though. He didn’t have a boyfriend or even one night stands. It was too risky for someone in his position to be compromised like that. If he wanted a relationship then it needed to be with someone already in MI6, but it was strictly forbidden for an agent to have a liason with a quartermaster. Maybe they had been looking at this the wrong way. Maybe Q wasn’t trying to leave them, just renegotiate the terms he could live by. He was on his feet without realising it, tugging on Alec’s arm and propelling him out of the room to Sherlock’s mocking laughter “Honestly John I thought you had better taste, it’s remarkable how stupid he can be sometimes.” John made noises in his defence but he ignored it, shoving Alec down the stairs and into the street. They were in a cab before he explained “It’s us. He wants to be able to have us on his own terms. No quartermaster rules, no hidden relationships, no bodyguards, just us.”  
He watched Alec processing it, almost seeing the cogs click together as he got it. That little smirk than tilted his lips upward made Bond want to kiss it right off his face, “So it’s back to plan b then, seduce him into staying?”  
Plan B it was then.


	5. Chapter 5

Plan B was not as simple as it seemed. It should have been a piece of piss really, force Q to go drinking with them, get him sloshed then take serious advantage of his weakened state. Unfortunately someone else had already come up with that idea. Lots of someone’s actually. Q was surrounded by a veritable army of secret agents and IT techies all plying him with beer and brushing up against him indecently. The rest of the pub had caught on as well and were openly staring at Q and his admirers. Alec had to knock out Dylan and Marge just to get through the crowd. The closer they got to Q the thicker the throng became. They barely had room to elbow anyone let alone swing a fist. If they weren’t all colleagues then James is convinced Alec would have shived them. James could see him eyeing up certain people with deadly intent. It seemed to do the trick though, not even other Double O’s wanted to go up against Alec, especially not with James right there. When they finally made it through the layers of people to Q propped against the bar, he looked bright eyed and barely able to stand. Moneypenny was pressed up against him, trapping him between her and the bar, her breasts thrust in his face as she cooed in his ear. Only Alec’s hand on his wrist stopped him from hitting her. Instead he pushed her aside and flattened himself to Q’s chest. Q was locked which wasn’t surprising given the circumstances. According to Tanner the agents had kidnapped him around four o clock and held him hostage in the pub forcing alcohol on him. James let himself lean closer to Q, inching to the left so Alec could match his position. Together they leaned into their quartermaster, brushing a soft kiss against his lips, feeling the press of each others lips against their own. It was something James had long fanaticized about. Alec too is the bulge in his pants was anything to go by. When they pulled back, Q seemed dazed, his body swaying forwards into them, his hands gripping their shirts for balance. With a tug James brought him into his embrace and tried to back track through the crowd. 

The secret agents behind them, especially the ones Alec had hurt, squared up against them blocking their way. Dylan’s eye was swelling closed but his fists were clenched and James barely saw him move before Alec was scrabbling with him in the confined space. The other members of MI6 launched themselves at Bond, their hands reaching for the quartermaster now tucked behind him. The other patrons shouted encouragement while the barman and bouncers threatened to call the police. Marge, one of the most intimidating receptionists MI6 has ever had knocked the bouncer unconscious with one hit, the patrons screaming in glee at the five foot two red head in five inch heels. She bowed for her crowd and James used the opportunity to push her into 003, sending them both flying into a table. Alec was holding his own against Dylan and Aaron, pressing forward with each hit, trying to give James the room he needed to tow Q out of the crowd. With so many spies in one place it was more like a martial arts movie than a bar brawl but that didn’t stop Q from throwing up his arms and demanding the bartender play “Don’t Stop Me Now” so he could kill the zombies. He had somehow managed to grab hold of a pool cue and was waving it around wildly. James should probably just be grateful he hadn’t grabbed the darts as well. 

They were almost at the door when James felt Q’s hand slip from his grasp. The dark haired genius was held captive by two men in suits, a mobile phone held out towards James and Alec. Cautiously Alec stepped forward, manoeuvring carefully around Matt’s prone body to grab it. Together they listened to a high pitched voice James knew all too well, “My brother is going home to his own bed. I think he has had quite enough excitement for tonight.” It beeped twice then cut off and the two men, now cradling Q between them pushed their way out of the bar and onto the street. The two agents followed them, watching the position Q into the back seat and strap him in like an overgrown toddler. As the brake lights flashed they silently acknowledged their failure. Plan B had not gone well at all.

The next day most if not all of MI6 were sporting bruises and sever hangovers. Paracetemol and Solphadine was bartered like heroin on a street corner. The highest bidder won himself two small pills and that was worth almost any price – Sally gave Moneypenny her favourite pair of blue shoes (it would inevitably turn into a tug of war once her hangover wore off and she realised what she’d done), she paced outside the Q branch in her bare feet shivering on the cold steel. There was a queue outside the branch, everyone from last night was impatiently or in some cases barely consciously waiting outside the doors too afraid to go inside. Word had come down early that morning, Q was pissed and his brother was on the warpath. Not only was their funding cut again but all agents present last night were to be put on two weeks rotational leave. It was a worse punishment than anything else he could have done. While Mycroft did want his brother to remain with MI6 he did not want him in any form of danger and last night’s escapades crossed the line. 

Alec sneered at his fellow agents steering Bond past them and into the Q branch. Inside was just as sombre as outside. All of Q’s minions were quiet, tapping gently on their keyboards, glaring at anyone who pressed too hard or made any kind of noise at all. Q was curled up on the sofa near his desk, a purple blanket thrown over him as he slept. He looked young and unbearably cute like that. His glasses were askew and he had just the lightest bit of scruff on his jaw. James gave into temptation and ran his fingers across the stumble, enjoying the texture against his thumb. Alec pulled over a chair squeaking it the whole way just to watch the techies squirm. They were too raw from last night to protest, too many of them had succumbed to Alec’s fists or in one remarkable case Q’s pool cue. James lifted Q from the sofa and sat down, placing Q’s head in his lap so he could run his fingers through his hair. Alec settled into place slouching down in his chair to glare at the minions. They would wait for him to wake up and then they would begin Plan C, tomorrow was Friday, it had to work.


	6. Chapter 6

When Q finally woke he was cranky and worse than a cat in a bath, he leapt off the sofa, hopping in place on the steel floor, trying desperately to cover his cold toes with his feet. It was Alec who threw the pink booty slippers at him. They were an offering from one of the minions, one side had petunias and the other had a picture of a whale. Apparently they didn’t come in anything but neon pink. The minions watched them carefully, ducking their heads down whenever Q noticed one of them. Leon, a lean blonde man with thick glasses cautiously deposited a mug of steaming tea and a pack of chocolate biscuits on Q’s desk before creeping away quietly. Honestly it was creepy how quiet he managed to be walking across steel grated flooring in new runners. Maybe he should be moved into the junior agent programme instead? James would have to mention it to Tanner later. Much later if he got his way. Q blatantly ignored everyone as he shoved his pale feet into the fur lined booties, giving a delicious shudder of contentment as he reached for his tea. 

James let him eat half a pack and get a minion refill before he decided to broach the subject. “You didn’t have to go to such extremes Q. All you ever had to do was ask.”   
Q glared at him, then turned that glare to Alec who was poking through Q’s box of gifts. Alec ignored him and continued to play with the action figures, making pow pow noises as he manipulated the figures into attacking one another. It was childish and oh so Alec, but it made Q grin, just a little. James wanted to know all of his grins, to know each smile and exactly what it meant. He wanted all of Q’s smiles and affections to belong to them. Careful not to slosh his tea Q perched on the edge of the armchair between Q and Alec. It was Alec who broke first losing his patience, “For fuck sake Q will you stay or not?”  
James really hoped this new found bluntness was a temporary thing and Alec wouldn’t be bringing it onto missions with them. Q seemed to be thinking something similar, frowning into his mug before cradling it between his palms and speaking into its depths. “Why should I stay? There isn’t anything I can have here that I want, it’s just a constant reminder of what I can’t have.”   


That was expected, after all this was why Q had pulled this whole stunt. This was about being able to take what he wants. “All you ever had to do was ask and we’d have moved the heavens for you.”   
James wasn’t willing to lose all tact, so he danced about the subject at first, unwilling to compromise himself too early. Q seemed to get it though, “I don’t like asking for things. If I have to ask for something then it means that you haven’t thought of it first. I know you two, if you had wanted that then nothing would have stopped you. I won’t steam roll you into a relationship Bond and this isn’t some kind of ultimatum. This is about me taking my freedom back. This job has taken so much from me and if I don’t get out now while I can then I’ll be trapped here forever.”   
Alright, so much for hedging the subject. Unsure how to respond, James let Alec take over, the dolls in his hands long forgotten. “It’s something we’ve both wanted for a while now but you’re out quartermaster. I know we can be reckless and self-destructive but we’re not complete idiots. If we tried something and it went badly you’d have us shipped off to Siberia, and don’t get me wrong my Russian’s flawless but it’s fucking cold over there.”   
There was that hint of a smile again, rippling across Q’s lips. His eyes shone that little bit brighter, still tired but filled with a tentative type of hope. 

Alec leaned in closer to Q as he spoke, “This is your last day Q. They’ll never let us be together if you leave MI6. Our security levels won’t match, our schedules will never mesh, you won’t know if we’re alive or dead and that will kill you. You’re not leaving us Q you’re too much in love with us to ever leave us behind.”   
James heard the collective exhale of breath from the minions, their programs and coding forgotten. Each one hung on the conversation like limpets, desperate for Q to stay. It was Q who held James’ focus. He watched the younger man blush prettily, his skin lighting up and his lashes lowering. They would never let him go, he belonged to them for always. He watched, fascinated as Q ducked his head and bit his lip, his tongue flicking out to soothe the pain. It went straight to James’ groin and had him wishing they had done this somewhere else with no witnesses. Alec however seemed to have no such problem. He leaned over quickly, pressing his lips to Q’s and tugging the man into his lap. There was no way this would wait until they got home. Standing up and carefully shifting the tent in his slacks, James shouted at the minions, “Out. Everyone out now and someone cover up the glass. Fog it over or whatever it is you do but if anyone sees what happens in here then I will personally come for them myself. Is that understood?”  
The minions scuttled out of the room, some still tapping away on tablets and phones as James carefully checked the monitors and cameras to be sure nothing was recording. Once the glass was covered Plan C would be in action and Q would never leave them again.


	7. Chapter 7

They might have gone a little too far. Their quartermaster was sprawled out on the floor stark naked, panting heavily and glistening with cum and sweat. It was probably the most beautiful thing James had ever seen and now it belonged exclusively to them. Alec nudged the blanked off the couch and covered up James’ delicious view. Moaning in disappointment James couldn’t actually find the will to speak, too afraid to break the peace they had somehow stumbled into. After all Q hadn’t actually agreed to stay, all he’d done was, well he probably shouldn’t think about what he’d done or they’d never make it out of here. Still, just because he was willing to do that, didn’t mean he was willing to devote his life to them, or eh MI6. Judging by all the bitemarks and bruises covering Q’s skin James wasn’t the only one worrying. Alec only ever left marks when he was feeling insecure. If Q left, well James wasn’t sure how Alec would react. Badly definitely, but how badly was the question. Would he stop at burning a few abandoned buildings or would it be 1995 all over again? James wouldn’t be able to cope with that, but this not knowing, he couldn’t cope with that either. Losing all patience he barked out, “Well are you leaving or not?” 

Maybe Alec’s bluntness was contagious? It would explain what had just happened, he had certainly never intended to blurt it out like that. But now that it was out there, he held his breath and waited. Alec had his eyes closed, his mouth tightened, waiting for the blade to fall. Hesitantly Q sat up, curling the blanket around himself and snuggling into its depths. Quietly he told them, “Do you honestly think I would have slept with either of you if I wasn’t serious about this? This isn’t some stupid fling Bond. I can’t just have you for an hour and walk away. This is it for me, just like John is for Sherlock. My family, we don’t bond easily but when we do, we bond for life. I thought you’d have realised that by now James. I do nothing lightly, however if you want to leave then by all means go ahead. I can have my office cleared out by the end of the day and we can forget this ever happened. It would certainly be easier than dealing with my brother. He’ll be insufferable if I stay. They both will actually.”   
Alec’s fingers were biting into James’ thigh demanding he fix this. Q had gone from blissfully relaxed to taut with tension and that was absolutely James’ fault. He never intended for him to question this, he just needed to know that he felt it. That he was as much theirs and they were his. Lunging across Alec he wrapped Q in his arms, feeling the younger man relax into his body, his skin rubbing deliciously against his own. Ignoring it, he whispered “We’re in this Q, I just needed to know you were too.”  
Kissing him deeply he let himself savour the moment. This was what he had wanted for so long that having it felt almost like a dream. 

Of course like all dreams it must end. Theirs ended rather more abruptly that most when the fogged up doors pinged open and a pudgy man in a Saville Row suit tapped his umbrella at them, his voice dripping disdain “I really must say I am very disappointed if this is what all the fuss has been about. Really Singen, couldn’t you have found someone a little less, uncouth?”  
Alec’s eyes bounced from the stranger to Q, his mouth shaping out the unfamiliar name before bursting out laughing. Hiding his head in his hands James reconsidered his choice in life partners. Ears tipped red Q, Singen, stuck out his chin and glared at his brother. “Getting your hands dirty Mycroft, this must be a special occasion. Unfortunately I have two lovers to satisfy so I don’t have time for your games. Go away.”   
Alec’s laughter had turned to a deep chuckle, his lips forming the name over and over again and James really was going to hit him if he didn’t stop. Getting himself under control the Russian turned those sparkling green eyes on Q asking him “So does that make James your Jane? ‘Cause I’ve always fancied myself more the Rochester type.”  
Not getting the reference James didn’t understand the pout Q threw his way or Mycroft’s huffed out breath of exasperation and angry “You have shackled yourself to a pervert and I can only hope that you see sense and end it now.” 

Shooting a wicked grin his way Q smiled prettily at his brother, “And I thought you’d be happy to know I’m staying. I still want that extension you promised me though and double my budget.” Acting put upon Mycroft tapped his umbrella twice before agreeing, “Very well but I want dinner once a month you, your boyfriends, John and Sherlock.”   
At the mention of Sherlock Q’s pleased smile was replaced by a petulant frown, “No way. He’ll never agree to it.”  
Smiling brightly Mycroft turned on his heel, calling out “Those are my terms. See you next Friday eight sharp.” What had they gotten themselves into?


End file.
